Alone
by girlylittlecaroline
Summary: It takes three bottles of wine and a rough day for Sara and Neal to admit their true feelings.


Neither of them were sure how they came to be sitting on Sara's couch at 2am, sharing their third bottle of wine, but it didn't seem to matter. It had been a long day; a very long day and neither had wanted to go home alone. With Mozzie gone, Neal had nobody waiting at his apartment. Peter was staying at his brothers and he knew that Sara didn't have anybody. They'd been searching for Elle all day, trying to find some small hint of where she was or whether she was okay. They'd drawn blanks.

As soon as Sara had heard what had happened to Ellie she took the day off of work to help out, it wasn't as if Sterling and Bosh didn't owe her a few days off for all of the extra time she put in. But usually her job was more straight forward than this, there'd always be a slip up, she'd find what she wanted, return it and earn plenty of money. So far, Keller hadn't made any slip ups. He'd called them on untraceable phones, he'd mocked them and wound Peter tighter, he hadn't let them have anything. It was the treasure or nothing as far as he was concerned and Neal wasn't ready to give up his secret.

The conversation on the sofa had gone over these topics, gone over Neal's feelings about the entire fiasco. He was leaning back against the sofa, his head gently buzzing from the alcohol, making him feel more relaxed, when he asked her. He wasn't sure where it came from but he was interested in knowing all of a sudden.

"Sara, why did you leave me? The real reason." He looked over at her, knowing that she was thinking the same thing that she had said the last time he had asked a similar question, but that wasn't what he had meant by it. There had to be more than this. He'd told her that he wasn't leaving anymore, that Mozzie had gone and he was staying. If truth be told, he had expected her to smile and kiss him and for everything to be the way it was before, no such luck. She simply nodded and gave him a tight smile with a 'that's nice, Neal'.

"You lied to me." She sat up a little straighter as she said that, taking another sip of her wine and staring into her glass as if it were something new and interesting.

He stared at her, trying to decipher her facial expressions, Neal was good at figuring out what people were feeling as a general talent. It was a handy tool when you were a white collar criminal.

"There's more than that, why did you give us up?" He tried to hide the hurt in his voice as he asked, of course he had been upset when she'd left. He had never met a woman like Sara, Kate was phenomenal but he had to admit he may have been blinded by some sort or ridiculous crush. Alex was fun, but that's all he and Alex would ever be, fun. Sara? Sara made him feel different, sometimes not in a good way, sometimes she'd frustrate him with her obsession with work, other time's she'd anger him with her nosiness, but after this she could make him smile like he truly meant it, make him happier than he had been in a long time.

"We're broken together. You depend on me, I depend on you. We weren't good for each other." She still couldn't look at him, swirling the wine around in her glass aimlessly as she thought, she could tell what his facial expression was without seeing him, however. He looked angry.

"Weren't good for each other?" He put down his glass and sat up properly now, his brow furrowed in frustration, this was what she did to him. Made little things seem like so much more than they should be, more intense, more important. "How would you know if we were good together, Sara? You never gave us a real chance; you never gave me a chance!"

"I gave you a chance, Neal! You were going to leave me and what then? I'd be alone. Again. I don't want to get back together with you because you could leave me again, okay? I don't want to be left alone!" She put her glass down now, mirroring him but her face looked less angry and more upset, usually she didn't share her feelings with other people this much but today she was, it could have been the wine or the situation but she had to tell him how she felt.

"Everyone leaves me Neal, my parents, my sister, everyone. I died. For days I was off the face of this earth and literally nothing changed. Nobody missed me. Do you know what that's like? To die and have _nobody_ wish that you were back with them. To even _notice_ that you were gone?" Tears were forming in her eyes now, but she flinched backwards as he tried to comfort her. "No. No you don't because Neal Caffrey always has someone. Some woman, Mozzie, Peter, always someone that would want you back but I have nobody. And for a short while I thought you cared about me, thought that you were going to make me feel less alone for once, I was wrong, wasn't I? Because I've never felt more alone. I could die and it wouldn't make a difference because nobody loves me." She stopped, taking in a shaky breath as realization hit her.

She'd always known that she was alone in this… but she'd never realized this. In the entire world not one person loved her. Over 6 billion people on Earth and there wasn't one person that would cry if she died today. Not one. And then she started crying. She couldn't help it, she felt so utterly lost and alone, she couldn't find it in her to stop.

Neal just watched her for a moment, at a loss of what to do now. What was he supposed to do? She probably wanted him to excuse himself and leave without a word, but he couldn't do that. He didn't like it when women cried, but this wasn't just some woman, it was Sara. He frowned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him despite her protests, she cried against his expensive shirt, leaving a wet patch of mascara and tears, but he didn't notice. His arms were wrapped tightly around her as if he's never let go.

Once she's began to settle down he pressed his lips to her forehead softly and tilted her head up to look at him.

"I do."


End file.
